long but very interesting

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long but very interesting was created by Tifi_led

Mwen jwenn lettre sa nan paj on moun facebook.
Di m kisa nou panse


"Hi Zane. How are you? Pardon my English but I'm French.
So I'll just get right too it. Are you a step mother and if so how do you make it work?
A little background, me and my hubby have been married for almost 3 years and we have a 19 month old baby girl. I'm 34 and he's 35. We are financial good. We have our own duplex, 2 cars and moneys in our saving account. We are good together and have a comfortable life.
The only issue is that he has two children from previous relationships and since both mothers are basically unable to provide for all their children, he is taking in his two kids because he wants them to have a comfortable life as well. So the kids, 8 and 9, love me and cannot wait to live with us. The mothers as well. One mother is always sending me pictures and videos of her daughter and have her call me for mothers day, xmas etc. The other kid is a boy and he always want to talk to me and he cannot wait to move in with us.
The problem you ask? I hate the idea of them living with us and being a step mother and having step kidd and I resent my husband for having kids when he was so young with worthless welfare women. He regrets too. Not his kids but having kids by two welfare women back to back just cause he wanted sex. While me I waited until I finished school, got a job and got married. I resent him for his past mistakes. Although I cant change his past I am upset because now I have to take care of his two other kids.
Zane, I do not want too. I don't love his kids. I cringe and I get upset when he calls them or sends money to do. And he often ask me to send it because i finishes work earlier. I do but every end of the month I get upset. I make twice what he makes but he sends a lot each month cause he sees the joint checking account with like $5k so he sends like half. Not to mention that he buys all the clothes and shoes and toys. The mothers calls him for any and everything and since he loves his kids, which i admire, he does whatever they want. You see, my dad left my mom and my siblings and I when he met his new wife. So when I met my husband i liked that he was in his kids lives. I still like it but I do not want them do live with me.
I don't think I could love and take care of them.
Although my husband helps when he can, I take care of the house in terms of cooking and cleaning and taking care of our girl. He helps but he works long hour days so I don't pressure him. But when the kids will get here I will have to take care of them too but I do not want too. But I cannot just neglect them so I still am going to have to do it but I know I will be miserable and they will feel it.
So my solution? I started stupid arguments with my husband because I am nervous and upset. I asked him to leave and I told him that I will file for divorce. But he refused. Although I haven't told him what the root to my problem is, I'm sure he figured it out. He keeps asking me whats wrong and that we can work it out but I cant tell a man not to take care of his children. What if me and him we do divorce and his next woman tells him our daughter cannot come to her house?
Zane, I really don't want to be or feel like this but I cannot help it. I'm a soulless, selfish monster and I hate it but I cant help it. I want to give them love and a good upbringing but I am so angry. I search the internet on how to be a good step mother but nothing has helped. Even my mom and bff told me not to do it. But I told them that I love my husband so I love his kids too. But I lied. I just didn't want them on my back.
We barely speak now and when we do I am always upset, angry and miserable. I yell over the stupidest things and we argue a lot. I don't want to leave him but I do not want to take care of his kids. I try to get my self excited and I try to tell my self it will be OK but it doesn't work. I have panic attacks thinking about them here. I truly hate my husband for what he is putting me through and I really want to divorce him sometimes
Should I divorce him?
I really love him and we have a good life together and I really want to help his kids but I cant so to me that's the best option so the kids are not miserable with me.
Am I a monster?
P.S. NO! I would never hurt those kids
I just do not want them in my house. I fake that I'm excited to my husband but he's catching on"
2 years 1 month ago #1

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Replied by Soleil on topic long but very interesting


Reading this lengthy letter posted in the forum about the 34-year-old woman seeking advice in her relationship was definitely worthwhile. I read it thoughtfully and would like to express my opinion after a few questions have been answered.

The questions are as follows:
1. Was the woman aware of her husband’s past before the marriage?
2. If the husband is providing for his children from previous relationships while living with their mothers, why the sudden urge to have them move in for a comfortable life?
3. Do they communicate before major decisions are taken?
4. If a decision that will mainly impact the wife, isn’t her input valuable?

Anyone with answers to the questions above can post them so I can proceed with my opinion. Thank you.
2 years 1 month ago #2

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Replied by Soleil on topic long but very interesting

Reading this lengthy letter posted on the site about the 34-year-old woman seeking advice in her relationship was definitely worthwhile. I read it thoughtfully and would like to express my opinion after a few questions have been answered.

The questions are as follows:

1. Was the woman aware of her husband’s past before the marriage?
2. If the husband is providing for his children from previous relationships while living with their mothers, why the sudden urge to have them move in for a comfortable life?
3. Do they communicate before major decisions are taken?
4. If a decision that will mainly impact the wife's life, isn’t her input valuable?

Anyone with answers to the questions above can post them so I can proceed with my opinion. Thank you.
2 years 1 month ago #3

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Replied by eztek on topic long but very interesting

The person that made the post as clearly noted, simply conveyed a note from FB. I think these questions are to be addressed to the person that made the imaginative post in FB.

I have not read it, not sure what's in it. As a considerate reader, let's skip the questions and get to your opinion


by the way, welcome to PP soley...
Last edit: 2 years 1 month ago by eztek.
2 years 1 month ago #4

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Replied by Soleil on topic long but very interesting

Thank you, Eztek, for your reply informing me of the nature of the post. Having read your comment, it will serve no purpose to state my opinion on an imaginative story.

Again, thank you for your time.
2 years 1 month ago #5

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Replied by eztek on topic long but very interesting

ah jive you are jive....

What exactly was your aim? It is apparent that you were not going to leave your opinion regardless..

You just made me the scapegoat. What does what I think of a piece have to do with your opinion ?
Last edit: 2 years 1 month ago by eztek.
2 years 1 month ago #6

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